The Plight of Alan and Buddha

The felicitous inauguration of any great blog starts with a humorous story. Otherwise, what would be the point in reading it. This blog is dedicated to the MEB, John Alan Stanley.

Alan Stanley, the man, the myth, the legend, was born on a chilly November day, 23 wondrous years ago in Tennessee. Enough about his early childhood. Let's get to the good stuff.

We have come to learn that Alan is violently horrified of David's jade green, 4.2 inch (yes, we measured it), traveling Buddha. Alan vehemently denies this buddhaphobia. However, he cannot sleep in his room knowing Buddha is watching over him while he sleeps.

It began when Alan said Buddha was possessed and evil. Buddha was taken aback by Alan's brash comments. Buddha took this personally and vowed to avenge this rancor.

Buddha began to conceal himself in numerous locations within Alan's domain. Some conspicuous and others inconspicuous. Alan first discovered Buddha watching over Alan from his perch on Alan's dresser. Alan reacted with immense abhorrence. Alan, replete with rage, returned Buddha to David. This did not lessen Buddha's disgust in Alan's behavior.

Buddha returned to Alan's bed, under the sweaty sheets. Alan subsequently returned him to David in antipathy. Buddha next appeared in Alan's shower and then his medicine cabinet. Each time, Alan would return the Buddha yet never renounced his loathsome attitude toward the happy little Buddha.

Alan tried to blame David for Buddha's presence in Alan's realm. He was so unreasonably paranoid with the idea Buddha would reappear in his room that he made David avow that Buddha would not reenter his room while he was on his Valentine's date.

Buddha would not be spurned on the "day of amour." He vowed his return to win Alan's love. He tarried, spotlighted by a ray of luminescence, in the dark hallway that led to Alan's room. Alan was exasperated to see him and once again cursed the sweet-hearted little Buddha. Buddha retreated in the very early morning, oh...say 5 a.m., to recuperate and plot his next covert op to capture Alan's acceptance.

To be continued...