Buddha was confident his gift would win Alan's eternal admiration. The sound of Alan's slow gait was intoxicating. Buddha hoped that Alan would head straight for his bedroom, but alas, Alan had a ritual he performed habitually every time he came home. Alan locked the deadbolt behind him. The sliding of the bolt jolted Buddha's heart. The incessant thumping was nearly deafening.
Alan then walked in to the kitchen and turned on the light, looked around, and immediately turned it off. "Blast", thought Buddha. "Alan, is doing it again."
Alan walked back into the living room and looked around. Apparently, not spying anything noteworthy, Alan continued on to his bedroom, more than likely, to check what was newly posted on Hulu.
"Finally!", thought Buddha. "My moment of vindication has arrived!" Alan seated himself in front of his computer. The monitor had entered sleep mode. From his perch, Buddha, impatiently anticipated Alan's exclamation of delight resulting from Buddha's heartfelt gift. Oddly enough, Alan did not move his mouse to unmask Buddha's masterpiece.
Alan swiveled around on his chair scanning his bedroom. "What is he doing?", questioned Buddha. "Ple-ee-ee-ee-ease! Look at your computer, my love!", Buddha pleaded silently.
Alan stopped his turning chair, perfectly facing his computer screen. "This is it!", thought Buddha. Alan's hand crept towards the mouse. Buddha stifled a whoop. Alan moved the mouse. The static electricity generated from the newly revived screen intensified the electricity coursing through Buddha's body, resulting in goose pimples. Buddha shivered as the hairs on the back of his neck stood at attention.
Alan glanced at the picture on his screen and bellowed, "WHO DID THIS?!" Buddha's heart sank deep within. He was overcome with a profound agony. The likes of which he was sure no one has ever felt before. Buddha's body convulsed with uncontrollable sobbing. The heartache was impossible to endure.
Buddha quickly retreated, both physically and emotionally, to a place of solace. Alan's heart would not be captured today. Buddha was uncertain if it was even possible. Who knows how much more heartbreak a heart can take? Buddha's heart was in a terrible, horrific place. Its resurrection was dubious, but only time will tell.
Suddenly, a thought struck Buddha, "Alan doesn't want just a glorious picture of myself, he needs...Me! My complete, elegant self."
To be continued...
Friday, January 29, 2010
Monday, February 16, 2009
A Buddha Sunday!
It was a cold, damp, dark day, much like Alan's heart. The weight of Alan's distaste weighed heavily on Buddha's thoughts. Alan's rejection was coursing through Buddha's body.
Buddha was struggling to formulate ideas of how to win Alan's affections. While cold-hearted and uncaring Alan was away, Buddha decided the best way to show his undying love was to give Alan a belated Valentine. He thought Alan might be a little upset that Buddha didn't get him chocolates and flowers as these are Alan's favorite things.
Buddha decided to take a picture of himself and apply it as the wallpaper on Alan's computer. He retrieved his head lamp and digital camera. The head lamp was used to provide the proper lighting for the Valentine. He was positive Alan's heart would melt when he saw Buddha's true intentions were to be forever by Alan's side.
Buddha shut out all natural light and turned on the head lamp so it glowed the color of love. He delicately steadied the camera, applied just the right pressure, and gently squeezed the trigger to take the picture. Buddha could hardly hold the camera still as he was so full of excitement and nervous, pent up energy. He composed himself just enough to view his freshly taken body shot. Buddha was in awe at how beautiful the picture turned out. He experienced a euphoric feeling.
Buddha knew Alan would be arriving home any minute. Time was as fleeting as a falling star. Much like how Buddha wanted Alan's heart to fall for Buddha. Buddha quickly transferred his photo onto Alan's computer and applied it as the wallpaper.
Buddha retreated with gleeful anticipation to a safe hiding place to wait for Alan to see his Valentine's gift. Buddha held his breathe as he heard the front door slowly creak open.
To be continued...
Here is the picture Buddha took for Alan's computer wallpaper.
Buddha was struggling to formulate ideas of how to win Alan's affections. While cold-hearted and uncaring Alan was away, Buddha decided the best way to show his undying love was to give Alan a belated Valentine. He thought Alan might be a little upset that Buddha didn't get him chocolates and flowers as these are Alan's favorite things.
Buddha decided to take a picture of himself and apply it as the wallpaper on Alan's computer. He retrieved his head lamp and digital camera. The head lamp was used to provide the proper lighting for the Valentine. He was positive Alan's heart would melt when he saw Buddha's true intentions were to be forever by Alan's side.
Buddha shut out all natural light and turned on the head lamp so it glowed the color of love. He delicately steadied the camera, applied just the right pressure, and gently squeezed the trigger to take the picture. Buddha could hardly hold the camera still as he was so full of excitement and nervous, pent up energy. He composed himself just enough to view his freshly taken body shot. Buddha was in awe at how beautiful the picture turned out. He experienced a euphoric feeling.
Buddha knew Alan would be arriving home any minute. Time was as fleeting as a falling star. Much like how Buddha wanted Alan's heart to fall for Buddha. Buddha quickly transferred his photo onto Alan's computer and applied it as the wallpaper.
Buddha retreated with gleeful anticipation to a safe hiding place to wait for Alan to see his Valentine's gift. Buddha held his breathe as he heard the front door slowly creak open.
To be continued...
Here is the picture Buddha took for Alan's computer wallpaper.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The Plight of Alan and Buddha
The felicitous inauguration of any great blog starts with a humorous story. Otherwise, what would be the point in reading it. This blog is dedicated to the MEB, John Alan Stanley.
Alan Stanley, the man, the myth, the legend, was born on a chilly November day, 23 wondrous years ago in Tennessee. Enough about his early childhood. Let's get to the good stuff.
We have come to learn that Alan is violently horrified of David's jade green, 4.2 inch (yes, we measured it), traveling Buddha. Alan vehemently denies this buddhaphobia. However, he cannot sleep in his room knowing Buddha is watching over him while he sleeps.
It began when Alan said Buddha was possessed and evil. Buddha was taken aback by Alan's brash comments. Buddha took this personally and vowed to avenge this rancor.
Buddha began to conceal himself in numerous locations within Alan's domain. Some conspicuous and others inconspicuous. Alan first discovered Buddha watching over Alan from his perch on Alan's dresser. Alan reacted with immense abhorrence. Alan, replete with rage, returned Buddha to David. This did not lessen Buddha's disgust in Alan's behavior.
Buddha returned to Alan's bed, under the sweaty sheets. Alan subsequently returned him to David in antipathy. Buddha next appeared in Alan's shower and then his medicine cabinet. Each time, Alan would return the Buddha yet never renounced his loathsome attitude toward the happy little Buddha.
Alan tried to blame David for Buddha's presence in Alan's realm. He was so unreasonably paranoid with the idea Buddha would reappear in his room that he made David avow that Buddha would not reenter his room while he was on his Valentine's date.
Buddha would not be spurned on the "day of amour." He vowed his return to win Alan's love. He tarried, spotlighted by a ray of luminescence, in the dark hallway that led to Alan's room. Alan was exasperated to see him and once again cursed the sweet-hearted little Buddha. Buddha retreated in the very early morning, oh...say 5 a.m., to recuperate and plot his next covert op to capture Alan's acceptance.
To be continued...
Alan Stanley, the man, the myth, the legend, was born on a chilly November day, 23 wondrous years ago in Tennessee. Enough about his early childhood. Let's get to the good stuff.
We have come to learn that Alan is violently horrified of David's jade green, 4.2 inch (yes, we measured it), traveling Buddha. Alan vehemently denies this buddhaphobia. However, he cannot sleep in his room knowing Buddha is watching over him while he sleeps.
It began when Alan said Buddha was possessed and evil. Buddha was taken aback by Alan's brash comments. Buddha took this personally and vowed to avenge this rancor.
Buddha began to conceal himself in numerous locations within Alan's domain. Some conspicuous and others inconspicuous. Alan first discovered Buddha watching over Alan from his perch on Alan's dresser. Alan reacted with immense abhorrence. Alan, replete with rage, returned Buddha to David. This did not lessen Buddha's disgust in Alan's behavior.
Buddha returned to Alan's bed, under the sweaty sheets. Alan subsequently returned him to David in antipathy. Buddha next appeared in Alan's shower and then his medicine cabinet. Each time, Alan would return the Buddha yet never renounced his loathsome attitude toward the happy little Buddha.
Alan tried to blame David for Buddha's presence in Alan's realm. He was so unreasonably paranoid with the idea Buddha would reappear in his room that he made David avow that Buddha would not reenter his room while he was on his Valentine's date.
Buddha would not be spurned on the "day of amour." He vowed his return to win Alan's love. He tarried, spotlighted by a ray of luminescence, in the dark hallway that led to Alan's room. Alan was exasperated to see him and once again cursed the sweet-hearted little Buddha. Buddha retreated in the very early morning, oh...say 5 a.m., to recuperate and plot his next covert op to capture Alan's acceptance.
To be continued...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
